Seeking Solace, Finding Joy

I don't even know where to start. There is so much swirling in head and heart right now.

Empathy. Love. Hurt. Joy.

The tears come so easily but I keep tamping them down. I know soon I will have to find a place to just let them fall. I'm just not ready for that yet.

Dear Friends of ours lost a precious little life last week. Their pregnancy ended after only 6 1/2 weeks. Hubby, Maggie and I gathered with their family and friends to acknowledge the treasure of Kolbe Michael. To confess our belief that he is with Jesus. To give comfort and love, and to find support in shared experiences.

Will you please lift them up in prayer?

He and his parents have been on my heart so much, and I just wanted to share his name with you all, to acknowledge this life. Kolbe Michael. He was (and is) loved. He is treasured. He is wanted. He is missed. And his parents will never be the same.

It is amazing to me that a life so short can touch a person so powerfully. Especially as a mother. To know that a life is growing inside of you is an awesome thing to wrap your head and heart around. The bond of love is immediate. And to not hold that child in your arms is devastating.

Most of you know about our daughter, Samantha. Many of you may not realize that Hubby and I lost our first child the year before Samantha, when I was about 9 weeks pregnant. The imprint that child made on my heart is no less than that of Samantha, or of Maggie.

My joy at having Maggie whole and healthy and here with me does not erase the heartache of my sweet ones in Heaven. But ...

... and it's a Big But ...

... like our Dear Friends, I take consolation in the knowledge that our babies are in the arms of Jesus, and are happy and whole in their heavenly playground, knowing we love them and waiting for us to one day join them. What a joyous reunion that will be!

And that's the thought that makes me smile through the tears.