Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the LORD are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the LORD, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. ~Lamentations 3:20-24
WARNING: The following contains a little information about girl inside-parts. If this is something you'd rather not know about, stop here (I say this for those men who, like my husband, get the willies when you talk about girl inside-parts...though he had a crash course the week I was in the hospital and is now doing much better about that).
Jorde and I had our follow-up appointment this morning with the specialists' group, Phoenix Perinatal Associates (you can check them out at http://www.phoenixperinatalassociates.com/). Though, Dr. Elliot took care of us in the hospital, we saw Dr. Spence today in the office. She was very kind and sincere, very informative, and very positive about our ability to have a successful pregnancy. Jorde and I had to retell everything that happened with both of our pregnancies, with emphasis on this last one, so of course, there were some tears involved. Dr. Elliot initially reported the cause might be incompetent cervix, but Dr. Spence, while allowing that she could be wrong and that we would monitor it next time anyway, does not believe that is the culprit. From our account and the reports she received from the hospital, Dr. Spence believes that the placenta separated from the uterine wall, which caused everything else that happened. She said that usually happens from 1 of 2 things: the mother's high blood pressure (they can't fix this) or blood clots that form along the uterine wall that don't allow the placenta to fully attach (due to the clotting nature of the mother's blood, which they can fix). The super-infection I had in my placenta this time around most likely occurred after my cervix started dilating ... once that happens, even just a little, the womb is open to any bacteria (natural to my body or from an outside source). The cerclage (the stitching-the-cervix-closed procedure) probably didn't cause it, but it gave it a dark, wet place to grow. However, she said nothing that was done or not done would have changed the outcome of this pregnancy.
As upset as I was to hear that my body is not fully cooperating in our pregnancies, Dr. Spence was very positive about our ability to carry a baby full term. Though my high blood pressure is controlled by medication, she wants me to work on lowering it naturally. Therefore, my job is to lower my weight and get healthier (Jorde's in on this plan, too...if I can do it, he can do it!). I will also start taking extra folic acid all the time (it's not just good during pregnancy, but is also good for your heart) along with continuing my prenatal vitamins. Her job will be, apparently, to run every conceivable test on me, work with us to form a plan for when we get pregnant, then keep me pregnant when it happens (there will be LOTS of doctor appointments next time around...at least once a week). She was very encouraging and told us a few times not to get discouraged or give up. She even gave Jorde a "weekend getaway plan", complete with candles, wine, and Victoria's Secret, for October (when we're officially allowed to start trying again). Dr. Spence has had 9 lost babies and has no children, so she sympathized with us in ways other doctors wouldn't be able to. I believe we both left feeling more hopeful for our chances of having a baby.
Also, I received a call from my regular OB, Dr. Mayer, last Thursday evening. She wanted to check on us and see how we were doing. I just love that she does that. It shows the kind of person she is, and is part of the reason she's such a good doctor.
We appreciate all the love, prayers, support, and food everyone has given us over the past few weeks. We are so grateful for each of you.
