I Don't Even Know What to Title This 'Cause I'm at a Loss for Words at What I'm About to Show You

So, really, this one's for Mary, Ashli and Misti - My Girls - without whose physical presence I am trudging through this pregnancy. Lots of support via technology, but it's just not the same as having your Best Friends Since Forever with you.

Although, I have to admit, I almost didn't even post this. I nearly fainted when I saw how big I actually look. And I have 3 more months to go.

Oh, my.

I just don't even know what to think about that. Guess I'll just do a Scarlett and not.

Anyway...without further ado, the first (and possibly only!) Pregs with Peanut picture:

I can't believe I just posted that.

Lenten Reflection

This is typically an email I send out every Ash Wednesday because I just love it. This year I wanted to share it y'all, too. It reminds me how to focus on fasting in a broader sense than we normally think about. Lenten sacrifice isn't just about "what" you're giving up but Who you're growing closer to.

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"Unless your holiness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 5:20

HOW TO FAST

Fast from judging others; Feast on Christ dwelling in them.

Fast from apparent darkenss; Feast on the reality of light.

Fast from pessimism; Feast on optimism.

Fast from thoughts of illness; Feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute; Feast on phrases that purify.

Fast from anger; Feast on patience.

Fast from worry; Feast on Divine Providence.

Fast from unrelenting pressure; Feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from negatives; Feast on positives.

Fast from complaining; Feast on appreciation.

Fast from hostility; Feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness; Feast on forgiveness.

Fast from anxiety; Feast on hope.

Fast from yourself; Feast on a silent heart.

Lenten Action: Be generous with your compliments today, especially to those who appear to be "down".

Prayer: I enter on this path of repentence so that in dying to self I might rise to new life.

Apples Don't Work

(As far as keeping doctors away. I know, 'cause I eat at least one a day. And I've about had my fill of doctors.)

Hello, all.

Yes, it's been awhile. Sorry about that and hope it didn't cause any unnecessary concern. I had info I needed time to digest on my own before sharing.

Then I got sick. Still am, actually.

These past 2 weeks? Not the best, really. But getting better. Or, at least, learning to deal.

Anyway, here's the scoop: I have gestational diabetes. Yes, I know that it's the most commonly diagnosed pregnancy-related problem. For me, however, it just felt like One More Thing.

Basically, while home sick with an upper respiratory infection, I received a call from our perinatology group saying my screening came back positive for GB. So, they scheduled me to come in for a session with their nurse to teach me how to check my blood sugar and go over diet issues to help control it. However, when we tested my blood sugar during the session, it was high enough that the doc decided to send me to the hospital for 24 hours to get it regulated.

That 24-hour stay turned into 3 days. During which time, while still sick with the URI, I apparently tried to get pneumonia. 'Cause, ya know, there's nothing better for cultivating pneumonia than lying (laying?) for days on end in a hospital bed.

Anyway, long story short, I went home with lots of instructions. And insulin. And needles. More Needles. And antibiotics. Oh, and did I mention the needles?

So, on top of my lovenox injections twice a day, I now take insulin shots 3 times a day, plus finger pricks to test my blood sugar 4 times a day.

I have become a human pin-cushion.

It is not fun.

All worth it, I know. I truly, truly do know that. I'm just having a weak, tired, pitying moment - probably nothing a good cry can't help. And being pregnant, that is soooo easy to do.

Plus, though recovering from the URI, I have laryngitis and have been unable to speak above a whisper for over a week now. Though today I seem to have made a slight improvement to Occasional Croaky Frog Voice.

Other than all of the above, everything seems to be just fine. Peanut's heartbeat today was 144 (perfect!) and my bp, while slightly higher than it has been, is still good (and higher most likely because of my illness).

Oh, and next week we get to see Peanut again! Yea! We're having an ultrasound because the blood-clotting issue I have can cause babies to be too small, so the docs just want to peak in and make sure Peanut is growing well. Though, now with the GB (which makes babies B.I.G.), maybe they'll cancel each other out. Or something. Normal-sized baby needed, that's all I'm sayin'.

Once again, thank you, and God bless you all for your continued thoughts and prayers for us and Peanut. We're gonna party big once this kid gets here, count on it!

Another Week, Another Doctor

Sometimes, I just wish we could see the same doctor every time.

I went in this morning for the fFN test. Only the doc I saw wasn't aware that that was why I was there. I had to bring it up, which just confused me and made me a little unhappy, since - hello! - I worry, people, and I've been doing a decent job of it this past week. Apparently, my swiss cheese brain needs to retain all medical info 'cause there was nary a note in my file about this test. Or if there was, the doc didn't see or couldn't decipher the handwriting (which, really, who could blame her - they're doctors, after all). Dr. Lee also mentioned she didn't see the need for it since I'm not having any symptoms (big YEA! for that), but long story short, to save me $50 in co-pays and consolidate visits (thank you, Dr. Lee), I had the test.

And the regular OB visit scheduled for next week.

And a gestational diabetes test.

Boy, was that one fun. They had me down a sickeningly sweet orange-flavored drink then sit in the lobby for an hour (inthelobbyforanHOUR. I didn't have a book. I didn't have a book!). After that hour, the tech took a vial or 10 of blood and finally let me go. I don't know when we'll hear about test results, but I have another appointment in 2 weeks, so if not before then, we should know something at that time.


I'm sure all of these tests and worries are commonplace for these docs since they only deal with high-risk pregnancies, so I'm doing my best not to worry until they tell me to. I keep thinking I'm getting these tests because of existing problems, but I'm more and more becoming convinced that, due to the nature of their practice, they're just running down their checklist as our pregnancy progresses, and that it isn't necessarily all because of me. Which is kind of reassuring, actually.

Aside from all of that, Peanut seems to be doing just fine. Heartbeat was 137...and that bugger has gotten more active. Apparently, Peanut even nudged Jorde the other night while we were talking in bed. Kinda freaked him out a little, which was funny :)

All in all, everything looks like it's moving along right on schedule. I even get to go on our church retreat in 2 weeks, assuming all continues as it has been - well, and I had to promise to take frequent breaks with my feet up (I'm calling that a nap, people) and drink a lot and not do too much walking/hiking/etc, which shouldn't be a problem. Oh, and I had to confirm that we were near a town (Prescott) that had a hospital.

These docs...they sure know how to put your mind at ease, don't they?

Oh, here's a teaser for you ... Jorde is going to begin reading "Husband-Coached Childbirth". I had to promise there were no pictures before he would consent (not even making that up). I'll keep you abreast of any revelations or antecdotes as his reading progresses. It promises to provide some interesting discussion, I think :)

Oh, Children...

Kids are funny. We all know it. There have even been TV shows dedicated to the wacky things that come out of their mouths.

I admit, one of my favorite things about spending time with my godchildren is that you never know what they're going to say - or ask. (Asking can be difficult - sometimes those questions have to be put off for mommies to handle - but I digress.)

So, if you're like me and enjoy watching kiddos learn and grow and spout things that we find funny but they are totally earnest about, you have to check out this post from BooMama. It's sweet and will make you smile, and for some reason, reminds me of my "oldest kid", Ian (who, btw, will be a teenager this year! Where oh where did the time go?!) Oh, and don't skip the comments, friends - some of those are just as priceless.

I may be aking Alex to add our current "children" to his list...Lord knows they need help. Seriously. They're all cute until 3 am, then I'm pretty sure they hate us. And like any good brother-sister-all-night-tag-team, they share their bad habits, so that when one is tired of yowling (or scratching the carpet at the door, or opening/slamming the bathroom cabinet), the other will pick up and run with it. It's a delight, really. I've never considered throwing one of my high heeled shoes out the door...ever. A Doc Marten boot, maybe, but never a heel - they're too nice, and I'm sure once the threat was over the beasties would commence chewing. 'Cause, ya know, they want to show their appreciation.

And I just want to mention, "Just As I Am" is my favoritest hymn ever. Hubby ~ if that elusive record is ever made, will you please cover that? I will love you long time if you do :)

News and A Prayer Request. Or Two.

Hello, all. Just wanted to update you on my appointment this morning. Unfortunately, no "A+" today.

We're gonna talk a sec about girl parts, so guys, just hang on to your britches and we'll be done in a jiffy.

You may remember that I have been going in for weekly cervical ultrasounds to monitor for incompetent cervix. During this procedure, the tech measures the length of the cervix (3 times, I think) and takes an average. My average so far has been 3.6 centimeters, "nice and long", which is very good. Today, my average length was 3 centimeters. While still long, it is a significant enough change that our doctor thinks it warrants continued monitoring, especially because I have a history of preterm labor. So, next week I will be going in for a Fetal Fibronection test (fFN). Click here for a better explanation than I can give on what that is. I don't know how often I will have to have that test, but I'm sure the first isn't the last.

It was disappointing news, as I'm sure you can imagine. Definitely not what I was expecting to hear. I'm trying not to worry too much or get too anxious, but it's hard.

So, dear friends and family, please continue to keep us and Peanut in your prayers, especially as regards this whole cervical monitoring/preterm labor issue.

Our second prayer request? Completely off subject but very important.

Our friend, David, lost his dad, Don, last week to long-term illness. Please keep him, his mom, and sister in your thoughts and prayers.

God of our ancestors in faith, by the covenant made on Mount Sinai You taught Your people to strengthen the bonds of family through faith, honor, and love. Look kindly upon Don, a father who sought to bind his children to You. Bring him to Your heavenly home where the saints dwell in blessedness and peace. Amen.

"To love another person is to see the face of God." ~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables