All Things Are Possible...

Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the LORD are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the LORD, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. ~Lamentations 3:20-24

WARNING: The following contains a little information about girl inside-parts. If this is something you'd rather not know about, stop here (I say this for those men who, like my husband, get the willies when you talk about girl inside-parts...though he had a crash course the week I was in the hospital and is now doing much better about that).

Jorde and I had our follow-up appointment this morning with the specialists' group, Phoenix Perinatal Associates (you can check them out at http://www.phoenixperinatalassociates.com/). Though, Dr. Elliot took care of us in the hospital, we saw Dr. Spence today in the office. She was very kind and sincere, very informative, and very positive about our ability to have a successful pregnancy. Jorde and I had to retell everything that happened with both of our pregnancies, with emphasis on this last one, so of course, there were some tears involved. Dr. Elliot initially reported the cause might be incompetent cervix, but Dr. Spence, while allowing that she could be wrong and that we would monitor it next time anyway, does not believe that is the culprit. From our account and the reports she received from the hospital, Dr. Spence believes that the placenta separated from the uterine wall, which caused everything else that happened. She said that usually happens from 1 of 2 things: the mother's high blood pressure (they can't fix this) or blood clots that form along the uterine wall that don't allow the placenta to fully attach (due to the clotting nature of the mother's blood, which they can fix). The super-infection I had in my placenta this time around most likely occurred after my cervix started dilating ... once that happens, even just a little, the womb is open to any bacteria (natural to my body or from an outside source). The cerclage (the stitching-the-cervix-closed procedure) probably didn't cause it, but it gave it a dark, wet place to grow. However, she said nothing that was done or not done would have changed the outcome of this pregnancy.

As upset as I was to hear that my body is not fully cooperating in our pregnancies, Dr. Spence was very positive about our ability to carry a baby full term. Though my high blood pressure is controlled by medication, she wants me to work on lowering it naturally. Therefore, my job is to lower my weight and get healthier (Jorde's in on this plan, too...if I can do it, he can do it!). I will also start taking extra folic acid all the time (it's not just good during pregnancy, but is also good for your heart) along with continuing my prenatal vitamins. Her job will be, apparently, to run every conceivable test on me, work with us to form a plan for when we get pregnant, then keep me pregnant when it happens (there will be LOTS of doctor appointments next time around...at least once a week). She was very encouraging and told us a few times not to get discouraged or give up. She even gave Jorde a "weekend getaway plan", complete with candles, wine, and Victoria's Secret, for October (when we're officially allowed to start trying again). Dr. Spence has had 9 lost babies and has no children, so she sympathized with us in ways other doctors wouldn't be able to. I believe we both left feeling more hopeful for our chances of having a baby.

Also, I received a call from my regular OB, Dr. Mayer, last Thursday evening. She wanted to check on us and see how we were doing. I just love that she does that. It shows the kind of person she is, and is part of the reason she's such a good doctor.

We appreciate all the love, prayers, support, and food everyone has given us over the past few weeks. We are so grateful for each of you.

Samantha Michelle Webb

With sadness we share the news that our daughter, Samantha Michelle, arrived at 19 weeks old, on Friday, April 11, 2008 at 10:05 am. She was with us for 4 precious hours. Our priest baptized her before she left us, and we know that, though we miss her so desperately and our grief is overwhelming, she is in our Lord's loving care. She was perfect in every way, only too tiny to stay with us long.

A Mass of the Resurrection will be celebrated for Samantha on Tuesday, April 15, 2008, at 10:30 am, at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church in Tempe, Arizona. She will be placed in the Garden of Angels at Mariposa Gardens Memorial Park, where Jennie works. It is as close as we can be to her until we are reunited in Heaven.

We don't yet know the reason for the events of this past week. For those interested, we will update our blog with any information we receive from our doctors over the next couple of weeks or so. Plus, what we do know will take some time to convey, and I'm honestly not up to that right now.

Thank you for your love, support, and prayers for our family. They worked...Samantha was perfect. Please keep us in your thoughts over the next few weeks or months as we try to heal, emotionally and physically.

Samantha will always be with us in our hearts.

Introducing ... Butterbean!

For those who aren't yet "in the know", we (meaning me and my friends/family ... Jorde thinks it's weird) have dubbed Baby Webb "Butterbean" during it's in utero life. We're not finding out the sex of said child and I just cannot refer to the baby as "the baby" or "him/her" or "it" for 5 more months, plus, it's kind of becoming a tradition in my circle of friends back home. Why Butterbean, you may ask? Well, for one, it's Southern, and while I don't live there anymore, I love my home state, and the manners and morals that are still expected there, and hope to raise our child as a Southerner-in-exile (I mean face it, Southerners are known for their manners and hospitality, and "yes ma'am" and "no, sir", and we will teach those lessons to our kiddos). Secondly, little Butterbean's due date is September 4th, which is not only the birthday of Jorde's sister, Erin, but also the birthday of my godson, Ian, who was known as "Pea" until his arrival, so it's keeping it in the family, so to speak. And lastly...honestly, the first ultrasound we had at about 6 weeks 5 days looked like a butterbean!

We also have one of our current ultrasound pictures above (our appointment was this morning). Nope, we didn't spring for the fancy-shmancy 3D picture...let's save that $$ for pictures of Butterbean that people will want to keep, ya know, or at least be able to hang on their fridge without someone going "what's that?" According to our ultrasound tech, Katherine, Butterbean looks perfect. Good grief, can that little one move!! Katherine had to chase him/her at times to get the measurements she needed! We got to see the heart (& it's 4 chambers), the brain (& it's 2 halves plus the cerebellum), the spine, plus the belly and leg bones and arms and hands and feet. And, she thinks we have a thumb or finger sucker on our hands :) She also thinks that, if growth continues as it has thus far, we may have an above-average-sized baby to birth (definitely news I wasn't prepared for!) All in all, a very cool, surreal, and wonderful experience.

Also, the fibroid cyst on my uterus she found and measured at our last appointment (at the end of February) has basically shrunk to half the size it was, which was also nice to hear. One less thing to worry about.

As always, we'll continue to keep you updated as our pregnancy progresses. No weird cravings, as yet (people keep asking), though I don't seem to really want chocolate at all which, seriously, that's just WEIRD. Other than that and the fact that moo-juice and it's byproducts make me very green, nothing out of the ordinary happening. Just glad to be feeling well, and happy that baby is growing and healthy :)

Continued thanks for all the prayers for Butterbean and us. We appreciate them more than we can express. Until next time ... Love and hugs all around :)